


Beautiful Lie

by winterfrostwidow



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Character Development, F/M, Hate, Love, Love Triangles, Marriage, OC characters, OOC Natasha in the beginning, One-sided at first, Romance, Triggers, no powers, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-04-30 10:23:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14494875
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterfrostwidow/pseuds/winterfrostwidow
Summary: Natalia Alianovna Romanova, Princess of Russia, was betrothed to Loki Laufeyson, the Prince of Jotunheim.Prince Loki had the same beliefs as his father. Kings of Jotunheim had no patience for sentiments. He didn't believe in love. Marriage was only a tool and a duty just like any other.But the Russian Princess had other ideas. Princess Natalia believed in love and happiness, but it wasn't doing her any good if the Prince kept hurting her.Could he rip all her dreams away?Could she change his mind and show him what love really is?





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll might cringe at the out-of-character Natasha here in the first three/ four chapters. Cuz I did when I wrote this and I still am cringing so hard.   
>  -_-

They had been linked since they were young children. Their countries would strengthen each other if they joined forces and together they'd be indestructible.

Natalia Alianovna Romanova, Princess of Russia, was betrothed to Loki Laufeyson, the Prince of Jotunheim.

They met the day they were betrothed in a court. She was eight and he was twelve. They didn't speak, only simply regarded each other before they parted ways.

 

Natalia had red curls curtaining her heart shaped face, with innocent yet sharp green eyes and pouty lips. But Loki had long forgetten her face the next day already.

His father, King Laufey, didn't believe in love or marriage. Marriage was a duty just like any other. He married Loki's mother to bare a heir or two and Loki had the same beliefs as his father. Kings of Jotunheim had no patience for sentiments. They were greater things to deal with. The alignment between Russia and Jotunheim was becoming stronger and powerful enough to resist Asgardian forces. That was the purpose of this future marriage.

  
But the Russian Princess had other thoughts. Surrounded by love and affection with no room for bitterness, unlike Prince Loki's environment, Natalia believed in love and was enthusiastic to visit him again when she turned sixteen.

  
But meeting him didn't go as she'd imagined. He wasn't as excited to see her at the ball. He looked bored to death as he forced a small formal chat with the Russian princess.

Yes he was already an adult. That much was obvious. He was going to be interested in women. And she was only just a girl. But he was going to marry her one day, so he could at least just act interested.

His eyes glued over her shoulder while she was talking and her words went over his head. Was she not even the slighest bit captivating? She cringed, feeling a wave of hurt and resentment when she turned to see that he was staring intently at the most beautiful, absolutely gorgeous woman. Natalia certainly was no match to her.

Loki dismissed himself from her without even giving her a last glance and left to accompany the beautiful angelic looking woman.

  
The sixteen year old Russian princess was not going to cry. She would not allow it. She rapidly blinked the tears forming in her eyes away and straightened the skirt of her gown. She greeted nobles and found herself in the company of young girls who wouldn't stop drooling over the Jotun Prince. They knew he was her betrothed. But they thought she didn't care so they continued.

But she did care.

It hurt.

It was Natalia's first heartbreak.

 

"What's the woman's name? She's been all over him since her arrival here. What does she even want in this palace?" One of the girls asked with bitterness, a disgusted scowl painted on her face as she watched Prince Loki and the beautiful brunette woman twirl gracefully on the dancefloor.

Natalia made sure to listen to the reply.

"Her name is Angrboda. She's one of the noble's daughters. Gorgeous ain't she?" The other girl smirked, who turned to look at the Russian princess. "You should feel intimidated by her."

Natalia smirked back. "Who's the one to marry him again?" She reminded smugly.

"I'm Yelena." The girl laughed and took her hand to shake it. "And I like you."

"That's a Russian name isn't it? Have you come with one of my nobles?" The princess slightly frowned. Her accent even had a small hint of Russian in it. The pretty blonde also looked her age, and had a very cocky face that Natalia already liked.

"Nay." Yelena casually swatted her hand in the air. "My family moved here from Russia to work for the Jotun King. My father was a former noble here and decided to come back. Guess that makes me part Jotun and Russian." She snorted. "Maybe that's why some of the boys call me 'Ice Queen'. The weather between here and Russia is very much the same by the way."

"So I've noticed." Natalia moved closer to stand next to what she thought was a new friend. She also wanted to be away from the girls gawking the Prince. "So you live in the palace."

Yelena had an irritated look on her face. "Yes. With these vain morons here."

"Hey!" One of the girls exclaimed.

"We heard that!"

"I don't care what you heard!" Yelena threw her arms in the air. "Take your drama elsewhere!"

Natalia giggled in her hand.

Yelena eyed her carefully. "...You're a beautiful girl, Princess."

Natalia smirked. "Well you're certainly not blind."

  
Yelena chuckled for a moment, before her smile faded. "...It must be torturous being engaged to that unpleasant swine over there. Please do forgive my rudeness, I'm just being honest." Natalia followed Yelena's line of sight which landed her gaze on the Prince who was now towering over Angrboda, their lips inches away. She turned her head away and looked down at her hands instead.

"Yes..." She swallowed around the growing lump in her throat and kept the bubbling insecure feelings inside of her in check. But she could still feel a new weight of tears behind her eyes.

"It must be very hard." Yelena said sincerely.

Natalia briefly laughed. "Unpleasant swine you said?" She tried to lighten the mood.

Yelena rolled her eyes. "Don't even let me start with him."  
  
"Tell me the most important thing I must know about him though, if you will. I want to know what I'm in for." She forced a small brief smile, her eyes turning moist and glassy.

Yelena looked hesitant at first, giving her what looked to be a sympathetic look before she spoke with a shaky voice. "If there's one thing you need to know about him, it is that the Prince does not believe in marriage, to him it's only a duty. He does not believe in love especially. If I were you, I wouldn't get my hopes up. I truly am sorry. I know how it feels like to get one's dreams crushed." She shook her head. "The Queen of Jotunheim is miserable herself. All because of her cold, distant husband. All he could offer her is the safety of her people and children. Love and romance do not fit in ruling."

That was when Natalia had to learn not to put too much hope in something. What the girl had told her was a bitter truth that Natalia had to swallow. She felt as if she was going to watch this man repeatedly break her heart if she continued to put this much faith in this. Whatever _this_ was. They barely had a relationship at this point.

 

At eighteen years of age, all grown into a beautiful strong woman, the Russian princess mentally repeated to herself when she was set to go visit Jotunheim after two years,  _Remember, this is all business. Don't expect much from anything. This is just a visit. Nothing more._

And when she was faced by the Jotun Prince after all this time, all those words she repeated to herself were thrown out and she drowned into the man's blue-green orbs. He was regarding her carefully, his gaze intense. His jaw was set and he had a dark sulking look on his angular perfect face. "Princess Natalia." He said smoothly, his sultry voice all the same since the last time she'd heard it.

She bowed her head. "Prince Loki."

"Would you give me the honour to be your escort for this ball?" Natalia's heart fluttered, but she suppressed the bubbly feelings because he didn't look like that was what he wanted.

She blinked. 

If anything, he looked forced. Restrained. 

It made her feel the doubt again. She embraced the sour feeling because she had to get used to it.

"If that is what you wish." She said carefully, staring at him lightly. She didn't want to be a burden or anything like that. He didn't have to do this if he didn't want to.

"It is." He snipped before sharply turning to leave, the atmosphere around him cold and distant. She cringed and looked down at her hands.

"Nice conversation." She sarcastically murmured, sighing. 

 

' _The Queen of Jotunheim is miserable herself. All because of her cold, distant husband_.' Words from an old friend echoed in her head as a reminder.

_Remember, this is all business. Don't expect much from anything. This is just a visit. Nothing more._

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Natasha here is too sensitive, as I stated OCC-Natasha above, but I want to get one thing clear:
> 
> She's not going to remain like this.

She adorned the emerald silk taffeta bertha neckline gown, her red curls fastened up high into a neat crown. A few ringlets hung on the sides of her face, the dress making her jade eyes appear rather striking. She slid her feet into her basil heel slippers, then she wore her pine green gloves to complete her look.  
  
The maids who helped her into her gown stepped back to give her space as she scrutinized herself in the cheval mirror. She rose her chin up and straightened her spine, briefly turning sideways as assessment.  
  
As much as she tried to suppress and ignore the thoughts, she couldn't stop thinking about the Prince while staring at herself. She wondered what would go through his head when he laid eyes on her.  
  
  
As if his opinion mattered.  
  
Which it didn't.  
  
It shouldn't.  
  
She looked good either way.  
  
  
  
The doors of her guest chamber knocked, making her even more anxious.   
  
The ball was to start in a few minutes and she felt like she was going to retch.  
  
She sucked in her breath when the maids pried the doors apart. She turned and stopped when she saw Prince Loki step in hesitantly. His cool gaze found hers and she was frozen by it, allowing him to stare her down from head to toe.  
  
She shouldn't be surprised at his constant blank stare, not even a small smile appeared on his pale face. He looked downright bored and didn't want to go through this.  
  
"Princess..." He greeted icily. "Are you ready?"  
  
She cleared her throat before she answered, her heart pricking by his coldness. "Yes, I am." She choked out.  
  
She walked over to him when he held his arm out for her. She hooked her arm around his before they walked out together.  
  
  
  
"You look gorgeous."  
  
The compliment didn't even sound genuine. It was like stating a dull fact.  
  
Natalia slightly craned her neck up to glance up at him, as tall as he was, and smiled. "Thank you." He didn't dare glance back, keeping his icy eyes glued forward as they walked down the passageways. The sound of orchestral music getting louder as they walked further ahead.  
  
  
  
The palace hall was larger than the last time she'd been here. People twirled endlessly on the dancefloor, wearing beautiful attires. The hall was lit up with colours of gold and caramel. Natalia felt quite awed, it made the Prince smirk only just slightly. He was amused.  
  
"You act like you've never been here before." He said, his tone odd. She eyed him for a moment, seeing a small smirk on his lips.  
  
"I guess I forgot to memorize the place." She smirked back.  
  
"This palace isn't something one can forget, princess." He narrowed his eyes at her with a hint of humour.  
  
She eyed him longer again, before fully smiling. "Would you like to dance?"  
  
He looked down at her in amusement. "Not this moment. The music is rather fast paced if you ask me. I'd advise you to watch your feet but..."  
  
She quirked up a sharp eyebrow. "But?"  
  
"I don't trust you're that much of a good dancer." He gave her a small fake smile.  
  
"I am." She rose her chin up.  
  
"Maybe you excel in smaller things."  
  
"You underestimate me." She said.  
  
"I trust my judgement." He stated arrogantly.  
  
She tried not to roll her eyes. "What else do you think you know about me?"  
  
"Well you're getting a little touchy aren't you?" He tantalized.  
  
She narrowed her eyes at him coolly. "Watch your tongue, Prince." She snapped.  
  
He turned to her fully, dropping her arm away to face her properly. "And if I oppose that?" He mocked, but his eyes held no warmth.  
  
She glared up at him, her cheeks turning red. He was too close to her. She could smell his minty scent, she could see the stormy ice in his orbs. He was a beautiful man, but maybe he did have a cold heart.  
  
She huffed and shoved his shoulder as she stomped away with balled fists, storming to the long doors that led out to a balcony.  
  
She inhaled the biting air closing her eyes shut. She let the cold wind blow her ringlets and dry the tears that rolled down her cheeks.

The man inside there was arrogant and cold. She thought that they were maybe getting somewhere, but it seemed that he had built up an icy wall. She wondered who he allowed in, who he acted care-free around. 

It certainly wasn't her.

Natalia still couldn't accept the fact that she might be a miserable and unhappy wife, just like the Queen. 

She shivered slightly, feeling the pricking chill. She stared out into the snow covered mountains, then up the black sky coated by stars and the full moon standing out. She sniffed.  
  
"You'll freeze yourself to death." He said.  
  
She rolled her eyes and wiped her tears away. "Go away."  
  
"Why do you cry? I did not mean to hurt you." He frowned, leaning against the rail next to her.  
  
She rolled her eyes again and turned her back to him, crossing her arms over her chest. She was shivering now.  
  
"You're an idiot girl." He huffed.  
  
She groaned at that insult.  
  
"Here." He rolled his eyes, offering her his jacket over her shoulder.  
  
She slightly turned to him confused and took it gently. She wore it and tightened it around her. She faced the dark scenery again. "I like the cold."  
  
"Me too." He smiled softly, but she missed it. "But the body can only take that much. We should go back, princess." He sounded concerned, but his words went over her head.  
  
"Your father forced you didn't he?" She turned to him. "Otherwise you wouldn't be my escort."  
  
He stepped closer and had an apologetic look on his face. He opened his mouth to speak but she continued.  
  
"You know why I like balconies so much?" She smirked.  
  
His expression turned dark.  
  
"Because. You have a choice to end it now or never."  
  
  
His eyes widened when she climbed slowly over the rail with each leg, her feet landing on the small piece of cement.   
  
"Are you insane?" He snapped viciously. "This is outrage!" He grabbed her arm, the forceful movement making her jerk back and she found herself shrieking. She was falling, but caught roughly. Her heart leapt in her throat and she began panicking. The Prince held her arm and winced slightly. She was starting to hyperventilate when she glanced down. She would die in an instant if he let go. She hung in the air helplessly.  
  
"You silly girl!" Prince Loki was enraged, it was written all over his face. "Is this what you want?!" He growled.  
  
"I'll always be a girl to you. You'll never see me as a woman will you?"  
  
She was beginning to sound pathetic it was starting to irritate Loki. He scowled down at her.  
  
"So you want to take your life because I see you as a child? Is that it?! You are acting like one this very moment! A real woman would never stoop so low!" He spat.  
  
She glared up at him, the cold biting her skin.  
  
"But it's not up to you anymore is it? Your life is in my hands now. If I let go of you..." His hand around her arm slipped slightly, making her shriek. He chuckled, "maybe you'll never hear me call you a girl ever again."  
  
"I am not afraid of death." She said firmly.  
  
"How very stupid of you." He sneered.  
  
  
She clawed at his arm with her hands, trying to pull herself up. But she was pulling him forward as well. He growled & took her other arm with his other hand and pulled her up easily. She reached the rail and climbed herself back on the balcony to safety. She was trying to lessen her panting. Her head and heart was pounding in speed. She forgot she was very cold.  
  
She turned to the Prince. "Listen-"  
  
"Your mother and father will hear from me." His voice was as icy as the temperature. "I would like to have my jacket back."  
  
She slipped his jacket off and handed it to him. He took it, wore it, and turned away to leave. She didn't dare follow him. She came back inside only long seconds after. She ran with tears in her eyes to the nearest room and closed the door shut. She slouched on the desk chair and covered her face with her hands. She didn't let out a sound though. She didn't like hearing herself weak.  
  
But what happened tonight and what in the hell was she thinking?  
  
  
Natalia began hearing voices and footsteps, making her raise her head up immediately. She looked around the library room for somewhere to hide and panicked. When the door clicked open, she dropped down and hid herself under the desk. Pulling the chair to her. She screwed her eyes shut.  
  
  
"--I tried, father. I truly did." It was the sound of Prince Loki's voice that made her eyes snap open. "But she is only a girl."  
  
"How many times have you stated that?" King Laufey coldly replied. "An eighteen year old female is celebrated as a woman. Is she not a woman to you?"  
  
"She is far from one." Prince Loki growled. "I wish to cancel our marriage."  
  
King Laufey was a cold yet serene man. He was not one to yell. Everything that he said was obeyed because he was intimidating enough. "That is not up to you. You say such things because you're still blinded by Angrboda. But you will have her no more in your head once you marry the princess. If you go near that wench, I shall have her hung for adultery and practise of witchcraft."  
  
"She is not a witch I say again!" Prince Loki snapped.  
  
"She is. She has bewitched you because she is a hungry-for-wealth harlot."  
  
Loki coolly narrowed his eyes. "Her father was a noble here, and he died when I was already with her. Her intentions are still the same."  
  
"You are in love." King Laufey stated coldly. "Because you are being deceived by that viper."  
  
"I am not."  
  
"The wedding will not be in three years no more. It shall be held in two months." The King said. "And that is final."  
  
Loki widened his eyes. "Father. Please reconsider. It is rather too soon-"  
  
"I said that is final, Loki." The King said, his tone announcing the end of this conversation.  
  
"No matter what you do, I will always love her." The Prince stopped his father.  
  
The King turned back to him. "Love is painful and pointless. There is no need to go through that. You focus on your duties as Prince of Jotunheim and not on that witchy wanton. Disown her and free yourself, my son." He said before retreating.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For characters that aren't canon in the MCU, I have a vision of Gemma Arterton as Angrboda, Amber Heard as Yelena Belova and Charlie Hunnam as Alexei Shostakov.

  
Natalia still lingered after the Prince took his leave from the library room. She slouched her shoulders beneath the desk and was quite baffled with what she'd just witnessed, or rather heard.  
  
She blinked as she rose up, plopping herself on the chair with a huff.  
  
Was this her life now?  
  
Was she stuck with unrequited love and unhappiness?  
  
Was this what her parents signed her up for?  
  
He loved another.  
  
And she was to marry him so sooner while he had eyes for another.  
  
She began to realize that she'd rather have him incapable of love. She'd rather have him without a soul because loving another woman hurt worse.  
  
Surprisingly, she didn't shed a tear. Her eyes were clear and she wasn't going to cry again. She was tired and just wanted this night, this visit, over and done with. Her trip back to her home was going to be in two days but that felt like eternity. She longed to be in her own bed, to play chess with her father, to go horseback riding with her cousins.  
  
  
The princess went to her guest chambers before the ball even ended. She was exhausted, annoyed, hurt and still very confused. Her mind was too hazy to think further and her brain certainly needed a shut down. She dismissed herself politely to King Laufey & his Queen when she couldn't take it anymore. The maids helped her out of her corset and prepard her dressed for bed. The princess yawned and climbed into her bed before the lights went out.  
  
Tomorrow was to be a new day.

_____________________

 

In the morning the sun slowly rose and the village was lit up by the sunlight. It only made a slight difference though, as people were still clattering their teeth and they shivered as they stood in the sunlight outside to seek warmth. These were the days they lived in. This was their home, an endless winter.  
  
  
  
It was a shock to have a child of a noble live in the cold, poor streets of Jotunheim. The small cottage a shelter to the beauty who supposedly belonged in the palace but was removed for shady reasons.  
  
Angrboda had enough golden coins to pay up for a place to stay. She knew she was not to ever step foot in the palace ever again, for then she would be one of the corpses the undertaker gathered.  
  
Her father passed away from Tuberculosis and she was forced to leave when the King discovered of her pregnancy.  
  
She was carrying the Jotun Prince's child and the King made sure to keep that secreted.  
  
People from the streets of Jotunheim frowned upon an unmarried impregnanted woman and whispers swirled around.  
  
She had not seen Loki for weeks now and her belly had swelled already. Her thirst to see him again grew larger as time passed. She carried his child and he had to know the truth, she couldn't take this away from him. What they shared was unique and beyond words to describe.  
  
  
  
And now she was stunned, shocked and enraged to have King Laufey stand in her home with his two guards standing outside the doorway in case anything should go wrong. She glared at the royal man who ruined her life. Her fists clenched at her sides.  
  
"My my, haven't you gotten fat?" Laufey remarked with a cruel smirk. "A whore's beauty never lasts. After all, she is only damaged goods."  
  
Her glare remained unwavered. "What do I owe this displeasure of having you here? In _my_ house?"  
  
He chuckled coldly. "If you want to call this a house."  
  
"You have shattered my life and I am to pick up the broken pieces to fix it again. I am here, because of you. I am here because you are a coward."  
  
The King took no offense to her words that attempted to jab at him. He was the fortunate one between the two of them, after all. "I am here to request something of you."  
  
"You asked me to leave Loki's life and I did. What more do you want?" She hissed venomously at Jotunheim's King who was standing with toxic arrogance in her home.  
  
"I want you to write a letter to him." He replied serenely.  
  
"What?" She spat.  
  
"Explain how you tried to use him and had gotten yourself pregnant to aim to entrap him. Make it sound like an apology,  & a goodbye too, as that you will attempt to leave Jotunheim. Which truly, you will." Laufey lifted his chin up. "I will give you a few golds for you to leave forever, never come back. If you oppose what I ask, your child will die along with you." He narrowed his eyes icily.  
  
"You're mad." Angrboda looked at him with disgust.  
  
"Watch your tongue." He warned with a grim look.  
  
"He is your son and all you care about is ripping his one love away from him. You will never know him, will you? All the man ever wanted was love!"  
  
He sneered. "I know what my son wants, and needs. Love is a waste. It is a drag. Unnecessary. _You_ are unnecessary."  
  
"You think you know better, but I look at you and see a broken man who was unloved or perhaps treated without fairness. That is it, isn't it? You, and every Jotun King before that are a series of broken men who seek desperately for what you think is approval. Pathetic!"  
  
Laufey slapped her across her face, making the woman fall to the floor pathetically. She touched her reddened cheek with widened eyes and a shaky hand, her hair covering her face from his eyes. His lip was rolled up in disgust and anger. He watched her like a bug on a wall.  
  
"I am not afraid of putting a pregnant woman in her place. I will not hold back. Do you understand me, pest?" He hissed down at her.  
  
Angrboda fiercly glared up at him with blinding hate. "You have no heart." She growled.  
  
"If I had no heart I wouldn't be here, trying to protect my son." He sneered.  
  
She quivered with immense hate and pain.  
  
"Oh. And mention in the letter that the child you're carrying belongs to another. Wouldn't want to get my son's hopes up now do we?" His face was blank but his eyes were icy.  
  
"Burn in hell." She said through gritted teeth.  
  
"So are we clear?" He glared back at her.  
  
  
  
  
Angrboda was torn but all that she thought was to put her unborn child first before anything. "Clear as crystal." She spat.

____________________

  
Princess Natalia was helped into a new dress for the day. She wasn't sure how to spend that day. She wanted to avoid the prince, she could not look him in the eye no more. He was something to forget for now, something to not care about.  
  
She sighed when the door knocked and she called to come in.  
  
Natalia turned and smiled in relief when her servant & retainer bowed his head at her.  
  
She exhaled in heavy relief. "Where have you been, Alexei?" She asked walking over to him, leaving the maids behind to make the bed. She hugged him and that took him by surprise.  
  
  
"I was exploring the village, princess." He said hesitantly, his voice was oddly cracky but she didn't put it into mind. "I am sorry if you-"  
  
"No, no, no." She shook her head as she broke the hug. "I just missed you is all."  
  
"Princess, I was only gone for a few hours-" He frowned. "Did you need me?"  
  
"I need your company now. I am alone." She admitted sheepishly. "I truly have no one here."  
  
Alexei looked wounded, and his expression was also one of distress.  
  
"What is wrong?" She asked.  
  
"Princess." His voice quivered.  
  
She gulped hard when he took both of her hands in his. "Speak."  
  
"A letter from Russia came forward." He said heavily.  
  
She looked into his eyes that were filled with anguish. "An attack on the royal house took place. The city is...under evacuation." He swallowed thickly and detached his hands from hers to take out an envelope with a red wax stamp on it from his pocket.  
  
She blinked hard and grabbed it from him, opening it roughly without care. "What is this?" She hissed to herself, unfolding the letter to read it. A letter from the King & Queen.  
  
Alexei stood there watching the young princess read the letter with fret. He wiped his tears. When she was done reading, her bottom lip was quivering. "I want to-to go to Russia. Take me home." Her voice cracked.  
  
"Did you not read the letter? I was send a letter of my own from your parents saying that you stay here until it is safe and the threat is rid of."  
  
"I gave you an order!" She yelled weakly.  
  
He cringed and blinked his tears away. "I am sorry, princess. But I have orders from the King & Queen to follow. I will keep an eye on you. You will stay here as long as it is necessary. I shall inform King Laufey of this."  
  
"Get out." She glared at him.  
  
He bowed his head at her and retreated.  
  
She turned to the maids who stood there like frozen deers as they were caught ease-dropping. "Get out!" Natalia growled at them, making them flinch. "All of you!" She watched them with a scowl on her face as they ran out of the chambers before she slammed the door harshly and sunk to the floor.


	4. Chapter 4

This was the moment the princess was certain that her parents were killed. She didn't need evidence to believe they were dead. She believed in her gut, she always stuck with it.

It took her a long while to accept it. She was on the floor staring blankly at nothingness.

No tears blinded her eyes.

Her chest didn't twist in pain.

Her heart didn't hurt.

For the first time in years Natalia felt void. She felt nothing.

She knew it was her own doing. She wasn't sure how, but she did it. 

 

 

Alexei would not leave her side, which was new and she found also annoying. He kept a careful eye on her and followed her around.

He kept assuring her that her parents were fine, in safe hands. But he didn't know a damn thing now did he?

 

He told her that King Laufey & the Queen gave their condolences, and that she was welcome to stay for however long she needed.

"Thank you, Alexei." She nodded at the message, resuming to read her book. She was sitting in a chair near the fireplace in the library. King Laufey allowed her to read all she wanted so she'd keep her mind on something else.

Alexei frowned at her carefully, sitting on the chair across from her. "You're acting differently, Natalia."

She sharply turned her eyes back on him when he called her by her name. He did that inconsistently.

 

Alexei was both her best friend and servant since they were children. He knew when something was wrong with her.

Despite his duty, he understood her need for space and had given her that unless she needed anything. He wasn't around much, but he was there when she really needed him. It was still odd to remember her harmless crush on him, and found that it was still lingering inside of her. He was a fair man. She would've fell in love him in another world, for they had their differences and reasons to not be together in this world.

"How am I supposed to act?" She asked him, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm not sure how to describe it, the way you're acting now. But you dismiss me so calmly, or rather coolly, when I assured you that your parents will be in fine hands."

She stared at him with a blank expression. "I'm not sure where you're going with this. Do you want me to cry?"

"I mean, it is the most natural thing to worry about your parents' safety, Natalia. But you do not look the slighest bit disturbed. Not to mention you're distant with me. What is wrong with my princess?" He was very concerned and she saw it written on his face.

Her face continued to be impassive. "If you're wondering if I care about my parents' death, I will have you know that I am not heartless."

He looked at her with deepened concern. "Your parents are not dead, princess." He said softly, leaning closer to attempt to take her hands in his.

She harshly slammed the book on her lap closed which made him pull his hands back. She eyed him with odd empty eyes. "Leave. I want to be alone." She ordered.

He faintly smiled at her and leaned back against the chair. "I have a job to do. And that is to keep an eye on you."

"You must tire from following me around like a lost puppy. This is your chance now, I give you your rest." She drawled.

It was strange to see and hear her like that. What was going on with the girl he knew and loved?

"I am not tired." He replied softly.

"It matters not. Just leave." She said coldly, her glare sharpened on him.

He gulped thickly and stood up slowly. "That is what you wish?" He looked at her with concern.

"Yes." She hissed, glowering up at him.

He looked hurt but it didn't affect her not a bit, it was strange to her. She didn't feel guilty at all. She felt nothing. And she liked it that way. She didn't want to change that. He was going to make her feel things if he stayed here any longer.

She watched him go and opened her book again when he closed the door carefully.

  
__________________

 

Loki was walking in the gardens with his mother who insisted that they have a talk. Her arm was hooked around his as they passed the white rose beds. He tried to keep his smile constant when she was talking about the Russian Princess.

"She really is a fine lady, Loki. She has...fire, in her eyes."

Loki tried not to roll his eyes. "Perhaps her hair distracts you." Unlike the redheaded princess, Angrboda had dark brown hair but she had true flames in her eyes. The princess was too sensitive for his taste.

"You choose not to know her, therefore you won't see anything." His mother said softly.

He rolled his eyes. "Mother, you know me as a well observer. She is a typical _girl_ from what I see." He sneered his lip.

"And you are a typical arrogant prince." She smirked.

He sighed. "I just don't envision myself with that insipid girl is all." He shrugged innocently. "Am I wrong to not want something boring?"

"This is not about what you want, Loki." She spoke firmly. "This is for your people. Your needs should be the last thing on your mind." She eyed him sharply. "Are you not the blood of Laufeyson?"

He bowed his head. "I am."

"Then act like one." She snapped. "There is no room for personal wants on the throne. There are always higher, greater matters." She spoke coldly.

He looked back at her sheepishly.

"Love your future wife or not, it really doesn't matter. That is up to you to quit being a stubborn idiot and open yourself up to someone you will spend the rest of your life with. Forget that lewd girl." They had stopped walking and she was glaring up at him with fierce eyes. "Understood?"

His mother's words didn't enter his ears without piercing his heart. He looked back at her with hurt pleading puppy eyes. He always obeyed his mother the most and he felt her overpowering him again like she always did. She was fierce and did not take any nonsense from anyone. She would make sure to ruin her own son's life for the greater good, no matter her love for him.

  
A small boy in tattered clothes ran up to the royals with a folded envelope in his hand. Loki frowned when he turned his head to the boy and gently took the letter from his hand. He opened his mouth to ask the boy what it was but he already ran off, leaving Loki quite flustered. He turned to his mother but she gestured him to open it.

He opened it carefully and unfolded the letter.

His heart leapt in his throat.

He knew this writing from anywhere.

 

  
It took more than seconds later until his mother frowned in concern when her son's eyes were blinded with so much tears that he could not see clearly anymore. She cupped his cheek with widened eyes filled with worry. "What is it, my son?"

Loki lifted his head.

Tears rolled down his pale cheeks and she wiped them away with her thumbs, the letter in his hands shaking. "What is it, my boy?"

He ripped her hands off of his cheeks roughly without care before he madly torn the letter to bits and pieces to the snow-covered ground and stormed off suddenly.

She watched her son leave and she knelt down to pick up the pieces from the ground.

_______________________

  
Loki marched angrily to the nearest room and slammed the door behind him. His whole body shook and he couldn't contain the anger any longer. He gave into it.

He wasn't in his right mind to know that he had walked into the library room, or notice the figure sitting on a chair near the fireplace.

Instead he was wrecking the room. He tossed things to the floor and paced angrily around the room. He began punching at a wall & kicked at the desk, only hurting himself. He was in so much anger & agony that he didn't realize that someone was watching him until they spoke up.

"Why the library room out of all places?" A sarcastic voice broke into his ears and he froze.

He slowly turned only for his eyes to land on the one person he didn't want to see. The sound of her voice was rather like an annoying nuisance to him.

But, her reaction to his rampage was odd.

Any lady in his presence after what they'd just witnessed would be frightened. But she looked _bored_. She seemed unimpressed with his breakdown.

He blinked his tears away and turned to her fully. "Because it was the nearest room." He answered her question.

Her expression was dull. "Hopefully next time you make it to your chambers." She stated dryly before being sucked into the book she was reading again.

This was a completely different person here, Loki noticed. But he was far too hurt and enraged to think further about it. Her complete dismissal of him, though, slowly irate him but he forced himself not to take it out on her by leaving.

Right now he needed to rid these cursed emotions to keep himself intact again.


	5. Chapter 5

"Are you sure you don't want me to ask someone to carry those for you?" Yelena asked with her hands on her hips.

"I'm  _fine._ " He said, handling his luggage perfectly fine. He glared up at her and rolled his eyes when she quirked up a simple brow. 

"Oh, James." She sighed. "You'll freeze into ice with that continued slow pace of yours because _obviously_ the bags are too heavy. Now if you could just quit being stubborn--"

The guards came down anyway to aid the young man who grunted when they took his bags from him. 

Yelena rolled her eyes and muttered, "Idiot." 

The doors of the palace were opened for them and they were led in quietly.

"Ms Belova." The butler smiled. "It is good to see you again. It's been a while!"

"It's good to see you too, Walres." She smiled sweetly at the middle aged man. She turned to see James looking around while he brushed off the little snow off of his fine leather suit and she sighed before saying to Walres, "That is my distant cousin James. James Barnes. His parents, unfortunately, have passed on and I thought I could help a lad out. They left him a fortune but he is all alone-"

"I can hear you from here you know." James glared directly at her.

She gave him an apologetic smile before she turned her head back to Walres. "So would you be so kind and show him to one of the guest rooms? I shall inform the Queen of my cousin's arrival as you do."

Walres bowed his head briefly. "Of course, Ms Belova."

"Thank you." She lifted her chin up, and before she could address James, Walres spoke.

"Ms Belova, the Russian princess has returned. She's to stay here for a very long while, never to leave Jotunheim yet... well because-"

Yelena's face turned pale. "Yes I know why." She swallowed thickly and cleared her throat. "I witnessed what happened. A horrific night it was, my the deceased rest in peace." She avoided Walres's eyes for a moment as she straightened her skirt. "But it is good to hear of the princess's safety. The Russian kingdom had been ambushed. From who, I know not. Perhaps the Germans?"

"No. It can't be. They're currently too weak for such forces, especially to prepare for retaliation. They're still rebuilding themselves after their recklessness." James chimed in with an arrogant brow raised. "Were you not educated?"

Yelena rolled her eyes. "Of course. Mister _I-Know-Everything_."

The bastard smirked.

"She is in the library room if you wish to speak with her. I know you two were great friends." Walres smiled.

"Thank you again, Walres. I shall come to her once I have a word with the Queen. Now off you go with James." She said and made to walk away.

 

__________________________________

Natalia slammed the book she was reading closed and stood up from the chair. She placed the book back to where she found it and looked around the untidy library. It was caused by the prince's early tantrum and now Natalia found herself cleaning his mess up. She sighed as she slid the last book back to it's place in the shelf and started wondering what in hell had gotten into him. But she inwardly berated herself that she should not care. She made to leave from the library and locked herself in her new bedroom for the stay. She dropped to her bed and planned to take a nap for the evening. She knew one of the maids would wake her when the feast began. So she let herself fall into a sleep with no dreams or nightmares. It was just blank. As void as her inside.

 

 

"Princess?" She heard Alexei's voice and scowled when she peeled her eyelids open. He was trying to pry the doors of her room apart as he twisted the doorknobs with frustration. She yawned and combed her red curls with her fingers, trying to unhook some tangles.

She huffed tiredly and removed herself from the bed. "Yes. I'm awake."

"The feast, princess."

"I know, I know." She drawled and unlocked the doors to open them. She looked up at him in his pretty blue eyes with drunken tiredness. 

He frowned down at her and his thumb brushed against the corner of her mouth. She jerked her head slightly back only to realize that he was wiping away some drool. Then she felt a spike of embarrassment and wiped her whole mouth with her wrist.

He chuckled. She rose a sharp brow and cleared her throat.

"Your hair though." He pressed his lips into a thin line to not laugh. "It's...quite bad."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Are you trying to make me feel embarrassed, Alexei?"

Then he laughed.

She couldn't help a small smile forming on her lips. "You are terrible."

"I'll fix it." He grinned, trying to let himself in but only pressed against her body because she was blocking the way and wouldn't move.

"You're fixing nothing. You'll only make it worse." She snapped.

"You don't want to arrive there late, now do you?" He smirked a little and lifted her chin up. She rolled her eyes as he said, "The left side of your hair is flattened and the other is all big & puffy. Maybe this shall help?" There was a thin hair tie around his wrist and he took it off to offer it to her. "Here." He gently took her hand in his and she watched him drop it into her palm. 

"Hm." It was the closest thing to a thanks right now but he didn't notice. She was acting completely odd to him. So...closed off she was.

She gathered all her curls together and fixed the left side of her hair especially, as he watched her with slight amusement. She tied her hair up with given patience before she dropped her arms when she was done. She arched an eyebrow at him. "So?"

He smiled. "Better."

She smiled back, but it was short. "Good." She hooked her arm with his. "Now let's go."

 

 

Natalia entered into the warm golden dining hall with Alexei and her eyes trailed up & down the feast table with a critical eye. There were some foods that she could not consume. But none seemed to be there. Then her eyes landed on a familiar beautiful blonde lady who was already looking back at her. Natalia immediately recognized her.

The redhead smirked for a bit before Alexei led her to a certain chair to sit near the head seat and took a chair for himself beside her. Natalia did not sit far across from Yelena so they were able to steal glances at each other as they'd not seen each other for a very long while. Beside Yelena sat a young man who wore a black leather suit with brown hair that slightly hung over his eyes. Natalia watched as his hand smoothly pushed his brown locks back before his eyes glued to her making her look elsewhere too fast. Then she heard Yelena snort, because the reaction to being caught staring was apparently hilarious.

Natalia released a sharp exhale and grabbed the goblet across from her to take a long drink. She swallowed the wine hard and felt Alexei squeeze her shoulder gently. She shrugged his hand off and gritted her teeth. 

"The empty chair beside you," Alexei leaned in to whisper in her ear, "the prince will sit there. If you would like to swap with me, that will be alright."

Natalia shook her head. "No. Thank you. But I'll live." 

Alexei smiled at her. "Of course."

 

"Princess." Natalia's eyes snapped upward to Prince Loki and she bowed her head back.

"Prince." She snipped, her mood only worsening. Alexei could sense it as his hand covered hers for a moment. Her face had already turned to stone.

Loki sat beside her and if anything he looked irate.

What could possibly anger the Prince of Jotunheim? Natalia smirked and took another sip from her goblet. "How are you? Destroying any more rooms?" She quipped just to annoy him. She scoffed.

The Prince turned to her and she rose a sleek brow at his stone expression. "I am having a very bad day, princess. Have you had one of those?"

Her smirk widened. "Did you know it can take one bad day to reduce the sanest man alive to lunacy?"

"Really?" If he really was beginning to sound interested for once, Natalia couldn't tell if he was faking it. "Well then." A wicked smile formed on his lips and Natalia would be lying if she said it was not the cause for the speed of her heart. He was leaning towards her and she could smell booze reek off of him. He had been drinking himself in. "People around here say I lack sanity."

"Is that it? Perhaps you just may happen to be the unluckiest man alive. Filled with endless bad days. Maybe that is the reason of the way you turned out to be?" She asked with a light voice.

His eyes turned dark and he looked at her with ice. She thought he was not going to give an answer. Then he spoke. "My father."

"The King?"

"He's responsible for all my bad days. He was the one who raised me after all. So I say he is the reason of the way I turned out." He said with a tone filled with emotion, the most she'd seen from him. He looked hurt, angered and lost. But it all disappeared in two blinks as his face converted back to it's emotionless cold state she knew so well.

Natalia eyed him sharply and looked away like she didn't care. " _Hm_." She drawled. She swallowed down the emotion that was urging to make it's wake in her core. She glanced at him once again and regretted it instantly because she felt like she was never going to look away. 

 


End file.
